hell yes lets make some ravioli
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
