I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize