i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
