I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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