there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
