You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize