i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
