I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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