Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
