if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
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They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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