i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
