I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
