i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
