I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
soo... how was my night?
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