Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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