these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I need to stop coming to work sober
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
