just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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