Dual....:-)
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
