Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
