Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
