escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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