we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
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Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
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although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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