I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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