p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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