I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
