ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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