yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
