you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
