We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
