Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
