So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize