thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
