I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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