She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
