My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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