i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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