I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
