Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
