there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
