he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just pee around me
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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