When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
