some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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