Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
