She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think a kid would responsible me up
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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