It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
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I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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