We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
