Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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