Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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