so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
