Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

either way. win, win.

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(810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches. (1-810): either way. win, win. http://tfl.nu/dnjj

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.

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(412): Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with. http://tfl.nu/nobk

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(206): View more from Washington

A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings

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(206): A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings http://tfl.nu/86t1

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(301): View more from Maryland

The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up

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(301): The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up http://tfl.nu/7low

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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(401): This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan! http://tfl.nu/8a5r

Replies (26) Good night (5187) Bad night (795)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though

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(609): you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though http://tfl.nu/8e43

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.

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(215): Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options. http://tfl.nu/xie6

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!

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(+44): he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?! http://tfl.nu/a2n2

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.

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(570): the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year. http://tfl.nu/g3sd

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(760): View more from California

Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.

(619): View more from California

I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.

(760): View more from California

I referred to the cat as amicable.

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(760): Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat. (619): I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race. (760): I referred to the cat as amicable. http://tfl.nu/ls44

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.

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(570): Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear. http://tfl.nu/m0op

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(907): View more from Alaska

I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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(907): I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single http://tfl.nu/2snv

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(512): View more from Texas

You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.

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(512): You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor. http://tfl.nu/8xpn

Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (217)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.

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(479): She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday. http://tfl.nu/do6j

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(315): View more from New York

Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire

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(315): Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire http://tfl.nu/4zum

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