She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?