Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."

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  (770): We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem." http://tfl.nu/qcu7
  Replies (13) Good night (2630) Bad night (681)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials

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  (815): I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials http://tfl.nu/tg93
  Replies (11) Good night (1150) Bad night (3512)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm in his phone as sushi coochie

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  (610): i'm in his phone as sushi coochie http://tfl.nu/9tzp
  Replies (30) Good night (1189) Bad night (6806)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

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  (732): i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono http://tfl.nu/0ij8
  Replies (32) Good night (5421) Bad night (949)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables

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  (807): Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables http://tfl.nu/0ytp
  Replies (11) Good night (5178) Bad night (1146)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy

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  (412): and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy http://tfl.nu/w9ds
  Replies (3) Good night (3222) Bad night (1104)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning

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  (908): I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning http://tfl.nu/qz06
  Replies (5) Good night (3442) Bad night (964)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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  (412): Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect http://tfl.nu/da8w
  Replies (1) Good night (2424) Bad night (1120)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.

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  (608): NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/icmx
  Replies (11) Good night (2155) Bad night (1038)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo

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  (250): Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo http://tfl.nu/a9s7
  Replies (6) Good night (1978) Bad night (1097)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.

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  (937): pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it. http://tfl.nu/fw0p
  Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (486)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it

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  (541): I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it http://tfl.nu/0g6v
  Replies (4) Good night (2327) Bad night (542)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..

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  (660): I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won.. http://tfl.nu/18ev
  Replies (4) Good night (1127) Bad night (493)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.

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  (403): Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull. http://tfl.nu/z0zm
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (465)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor

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  (646): Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor http://tfl.nu/9swp
  Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (325)

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