I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"