Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now

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  (602): OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now http://tfl.nu/twmw
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (668)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters

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  (240): you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters http://tfl.nu/0u7p
  Replies (30) Good night (5108) Bad night (1156)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm

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  (612): I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm http://tfl.nu/twuk
  Replies (21) Good night (3578) Bad night (4385)
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  (415): View more from California

  I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does

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  (415): I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/67y4
  Replies (10) Good night (2987) Bad night (718)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.

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  (206): After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team. http://tfl.nu/bf8i
  Replies (12) Good night (4053) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...

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  (570): who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius... http://tfl.nu/rkbg
  Replies (15) Good night (3578) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.

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  (712): Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now. http://tfl.nu/slxg
  Replies (12) Good night (910) Bad night (3379)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."

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  (719): He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it." http://tfl.nu/ssx2
  Replies (10) Good night (1947) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.

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  (484): future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/vyz8
  Replies (9) Good night (1686) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy

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  (603): ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy http://tfl.nu/t11r
  Replies (13) Good night (2441) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.

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  (734): In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER. http://tfl.nu/mukx
  Replies (10) Good night (2201) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.

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  (586): He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs. http://tfl.nu/txkv
  Replies (10) Good night (1447) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong

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  (215): candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong http://tfl.nu/hvis
  Replies (3) Good night (623) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.

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  (224): We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/mvzv
  Replies (4) Good night (883) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.

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  (480): There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which. http://tfl.nu/ypuq
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (132)

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