Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.