Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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