i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
