Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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