so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
