you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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