i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize